Do you find it hard to be a positive thinker? Or maybe you’re tired of hearing complaints and people whining.
No matter how you wish to be a positive thinker every day, everyone does get negative at some point in his or her life. Whether it is at work or home, negative situations happen almost all the time. Unfortunately, we cannot avoid adverse situations and thus beg the question of how can we flip these negative thoughts into positive ones.
Being surrounded by people with a negative attitude is not avoidable. They always see the worst in every situation for whatever reason. It’s as if their day is not complete unless they find something to complain about.
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But What If That Person is You
How can you change and stop negative thinking?
While many people ask this question, the good news is that there is a definite answer. However, it takes work and involves changing how you look at the world around you and how you see yourself.
The first thing to understand is this: Positive thinking DOES NOT mean that every time something bad happens, you would need to feel good about it. On the contrary, it means having a solution-oriented perspective. In other words, whenever you are presented with a challenge, you intend to find a solution without complaining.
By now you must have realized that being stuck in negative thinking is stressful. Not to mention mentally, but physically exhausting too.
While staying to be a positive thinker might sound hard, it is relatively possible to feel good vibes no matter your situation. And it’s time to learn how the power of positive thinking could assist us in transmuting that negative energy into something beneficial to our health.
With all these being said, I have come up with 9 ways on how you can avoid being negative and make a clear headway toward optimism. When you make it a habit of putting these 9 key points into practice, I assure you that you will be more cheerful. Eventually, with practice, you see some light of positivity in any situation that you may encounter.
1. Own Up to Your Mistakes
We all know that there is no person in the world who does not commit a mistake. And if you get to live a lot longer, you surely will make a lot of them along the way.
So, you mess up, who cares? If you do though, just take responsibility.
Similarly, if you do something good, reward yourself. Do not blame other people for things that are your fault. Blaming only attracts negative energy by thinking about all the things relating to that situation.
If you find this to be more challenging than you expected, take heart and don’t be discouraged. During the learning process, mistakes are always inevitable. So just shrug it off. You will be a happier positive thinker and those around you will be happy to have you in their lives.
Therefore, accept the situation as it is and move on with life. At the same time, be accountable for your actions.
2. Avoid Drama in Your Life
Hanging out with upbeat people will certainly help you stay positive. You should avoid negative people because they will only rub their negativity off on you. They will bring you down whenever you try to be positive and become a cynical person like them.
Drama is an unnecessary evil. It only belongs to the afternoon soap operas. Start to avoid drama by preventing yourself from encountering dramatic people. Avert the gossip at all costs. It will do you no good because it only helps to spread negativity. Considering this, when you hear one, let the unfriendly flow stop with you. A positive thinker does not let malicious talk rule their day.
3. Look for the Positive
We already know that life is challenging. Other people, intentionally or not, do certain things which cause us harm.
We get ill.
Economic downturns can cause us to lose our jobs and more.
And when someone tells us to look for the positive, we could easily get offended because it can be a difficult situation.
But just like any other skill that we develop, it takes practice. So if you don’t make it a part of your everyday way of thinking, you will lose the skill.
Try this: whenever you have a strong negative reaction to a situation, take a very DEEP breath. Do you know why? Because our breath is a way our body resets which could calm that reaction. Continue and be present on that breathing so that your mind gets distracted and becomes unaffected.
4. Maintain a Gratitude Journal
In negative situations, we tend to find ourselves thinking of the good things in our lives. and in thinking about them, we should let our mind flow towards those good thoughts and practice gratitude. Let our focus be on talking about the good memories that happen to you rather than on the bad ones.
Given this point, make journaling an everyday habit, whether it is first thing in the morning or one of the last things you do each evening. Using your smartphone or a pen and notepad, write about all that you are grateful for. Look over your day and recall the experiences you had that you are grateful for.
Acknowledging what you are grateful and thankful for will help you nurture a grateful heart and mind, even in adverse situations. Furthermore, this simple habit will help you recognize the positive things that are happening in your life and help you see the positive in situations much faster.
5. Say “I Get To”
A small switch in how you talk to yourself about your daily life will go a long way toward helping you become a positive thinker.
Whenever we force ourselves into doing something we don’t want to do, we are lining up our minds toward the negative channel. For instance, one of these is the simple phrase: “I have to do this” or “I have to go to work.”
Doesn’t that make you feel overly negative especially when there is a project you don’t look forward to working on?
Therefore, replace saying “I have to” with “I get to”.
This way of thinking allows you to see and appreciate the positive points of the mundane daily things you do.
When you say “I get to go to work,” it can be expanded on at any time to include “I get to go to work and finish that project that has been annoying me.” Or maybe, “I get to go to work to finish that project so I can work on something new.” Another example could be “I get to go to the grocery and buy the stuff I need to make my favorite dinner”.
You can see that within a short time this simple change of thinking will help you feel more positive about your day.
6. Consider Challenges Are Not Problems
There is no such thing as failure. The outcome of everything is only a result.
While most people have been programmed to fear failure, many impose limitations on themselves by thinking that certain things can’t be done or is beyond them. And as a result, we tend to be lazy in doing anything to be successful.
Much like changing the word “have” with “get,” when you have a problem you can instead say you have a CHALLENGE. When you say you have a problem, it’s usually about something that is broken and almost always something that is negative. Your subconscious connection with the word “problem” is what is creating the negativity. By using the word “challenge” you open your mind to see solutions.
7. Understand That You Have Control
Nothing that happens to us is good or bad, positive or negative until we assign a label to that experience. Beyond labeling, you have the ability to control how you see the situation and to understand what you can do about it.
When you choose to respond, rather than react with a positive attitude asking, “what can I do now?” Or “what can be done about this now?” Or “does this really apply to my life now?”, consider these questions as a guidepost directing you to start looking for a solution. This is the moment when you become in control of your thoughts and your actions.
Begin to see your current challenges differently and practice looking for solutions that will help you respond more positively.
The main point here is not to dwell on frustration but to focus on what can be done. Ask yourself, “what would I do if I know that I’m not going to fail?” Then do it.
Clearly, instead of complaining and reacting to the negative situation, begin to have a mindset that you always have “control.”
8. Allow Positive Self-Talk Only
It’s quite common to hear people say: “Think positive!” to someone who feels down and distressed. It is also common to know that most people don’t take these words in earnest, as they don’t think about them as useful and effective.
But do you listen to the words you say to yourself each day? When you felt pessimistic and others tell you to think positively, how do you feel? Better or worse?
When you catch yourself saying something unkind towards yourself, you need to train your inner critic to stop, take a deep breath, and say something positive and affirming instead.
If you ever start saying “I’m such an idiot!” under your breath, STOP! Then say, “That’s not true. I do smart things sometimes.” Then list a couple of personal instances to remind yourself of what you are capable of.
One of my favorite affirmations is, “Every day in every way it’s getting better and better.” And it truly does get better. Try it.
9. Be Kind To People
Lastly, know that by being kind, you will not have time for negative thoughts. Do various acts of kindness every day. This will keep you having a happy outlook in life. Besides, karma will also pay you back handsomely for your kind deeds.
In the same way, it is very important to be kind to yourself. That is a positive thinker’s main rule.
Believe that you have the ability to create your own mindset and you are already halfway there. The ability to change your environment, your circle of friends, and your attitude, is within your control.
“Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.”
– Bob Kerrey
The Brilliant Plan
A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health, and a successful result in every daily situation. Remember that whatsoever the brain expects, it finds.
Just like when a computer absorbs raw data, so does your mind.
Within your mind, a culture within itself has grown. Many people feel like they have no control over their own minds because this belief has developed to be negative over time. They are the result of past experiences, a damaging environment, and being under the influence of inadequate ideas.
Like a competent programmer, you have to identify the virus immediately to avoid its spread within your mind.
Why?
Because this toxic thinking can be passed around to people around you. Consequently, you become a marketer of negative energy like “weeds in a field.” Much like a farmer, if you have a farm and let your field take care of itself, count yourself lucky if you reap any harvest of any crop. But I doubt it.
We can say the same with the energy within your belief system.
To sum it up, negativity is flourishing everywhere. You will most likely encounter a negative person even at Disneyland which is supposed to be the happiest place on earth.
Given these circumstances, let’s take out one negative person in the world by starting with ourselves. As Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Be the change, you want to see in this world.”
Can I count on you?
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