A Gratitude Lesson from an Egotistic Person

Do you want to be happier? Try gratitude.

I have a confession to make. It took me 6 years to finally allow myself to be a “receiver.” Being the eldest, I took on the responsibility of taking care of almost every caring aspect early on in life. I was cooking the family meals, preparing my younger siblings to get ready for bed, and just finding ways to help in the household while my parents worked. I developed a sense of personal accountability that I took on as a priority from an early age.

As good as it sounds, “giving” has been my routine that as the years went by, I began to feel leery towards people who have been generous to me. I started to think that anybody who was giving me a favor without my asking needs something in return – eventually. Much later, I felt guarded against people who were being generous to me.

Unfortunately, this stunted the universal dynamic exchange of giving and receiving because I never learned how to be a recipient. I grew up having a conviction that I will acquire the desirable things with my own will, ability, and resources. In fact, it often offended me when others gave me unsolicited favors.

They say that the more you give, the more you receive. But like anything excessively tilting on one side, the ideal becomes unbalanced. And unless you are aware of the stage of instability and correct it, misery and unhappiness take over before you know it.

Although all these years, I know how to be thankful, I never realized that others are also being grateful for their blessings that they want to share them with me. And like other people who have been always on the giving end, I never expected anything in return.

Related Post: The Steps I Took to Achieve Mindfulness

My EGO and Gratitude

The intention behind the act of giving is what makes the difference.

When much has been given, there has been so much pride with the accomplished achievements. It is empowering especially when others placed you on a pedestal. But on the flip side, when being zealous turned the wrong way, it becomes very egotistical!

Believe me, I learned my lessons well.

I first thought that having an EGO is the most ardent passion you can seek. And with the kind of overreaching self-worthiness and self-confidence, I would be truly successful.

One day, as I listened to one of my mentors, Dr. Wayne Dyer, he said that EGO is “Edging God Out!” Wow! And he is absolutely right!

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Giving, as well as receiving, should be with the intention to create happiness both to the giver and receiver. It should not be one-sided but a give and take relationship.

For me, it was a painful process as the accumulated vanities started peeling away. In the process, I learned to be a receiver as well. And as I allowed other people to benefit from the blessings of being a giver, it turned out that giving and receiving is a win-win balanced situation.

The Takeaways of Gratitude

Being a creature of our Creator, practicing gratitude is an art. And being an artist, it is a skill that one must authentically learn spiritually and emotionally.

It’s true that it’s not always easy to feel thankful when things aren’t going your way. But oddly enough, an attitude of gratitude would activate the flow of which you seek.

If you seek joy, love, laughter, peace, harmony, and knowledge not only for yourself but for others, you will fulfill every need spontaneously. This may take some effort at first. But if you were asked: How do you eat an elephant? Answer: One bite at a time.

Consider that wherever you are in life, just start with what you can handle. Whatever station you are coming from, always remember that you are there because you are to learn something. Just have a teachable spirit. Then be kind to yourself during the process. It is from small things that eventually lead to big things. Every step you take is training to get you to the next level.

So here are the 5 small steps you can undertake to get to the flow which you seek.

5 Small Steps to Gratitude

1. Start appreciating the little things.

When life is particularly overwhelming, sometimes the only gratitude that we can genuinely feel is for the small things. And that’s just fine. Taking time to be thankful for that cup of coffee might not seem like much. Or that great parking space you got may not be a big deal. But acknowledging them will do wonders for your mood. Spending your day looking for small things to appreciate will have a stimulating effect in making you notice the bigger picture items. This simple acknowledgment will make you more grateful in life.

2. Stop worrying about what other people have.

If you feel like you can’t be grateful because someone else has it better, then your focus is in the wrong place. Who cares what your neighbor has? If you keep comparing yourself with others, I assure you that you will never be happy! Be grateful for what you have.  You will never know what others have sacrificed to get what you are envious about their life – and believe me, you really don’t want to have that.

3. Keep a gratitude journal.

If you’re having trouble finding things to be grateful for, then make a practice of writing down the things for which you’re thankful. Why? First, by writing things down, you find them easier to remember. Secondly, you’re creating a historical record that you can read later and remind yourself that you do have many good things in your life. From my experience, it brought me a higher rate of daily contentment, elevated my level of happiness and started sleeping well.

If you feel like you can’t be grateful because someone else has it better, then your focus is in the wrong place. Who cares what your neighbor has? If you keep comparing yourself with others, I assure you that you will never be happy! Be grateful for what you have.  You will never know what others have sacrificed or staged to get to what you are envious about their life. And believe me, if you knew, you really don’t want to have that.

4. Donate.

Whether giving your time or resources, nothing makes up for gratitude like helping someone else and seeing their appreciation. You might even find new things to be grateful for as well – like your ability to help. Perhaps you have a talent or skill you’re able to share. That makes this a win-win setting all the way around. Even when you just met someone, silently wish them happiness, joy, and laughter. Freely give away genuine compliments with the intention to create happiness both ways. They don’t need to have a monetary value.

5. Make gratitude habitual.

Try setting a time to be grateful. Write about the great things that happened today before going to bed. Or maybe you’d prefer to start your day in gratitude in the morning. Whatever the case, getting into the mindset of daily gratitude will help you to keep on the lookout for things that are gratifying. By being aware of the present moment, you will see those beautiful things abound.

The Brilliant Plan

Affluence means “to flow in abundance.” In gratitude, we keep the unlimited abundance circulating in our lives.

So, starting now, simply be thankful for the things you have in your life, and the rest grows from there. The more you pay attention to what you have, the more it increases. Remember that energy flows where your attention is.

Life only happens now.  Look around you and you will be surprised to find plenty to be grateful for. These are the catalysts that will make you happier.

“Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.”

Mark 4:25

I have a Gratitude Journal that may help you begin your journey in journaling. You may want to check them out.

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I hope your sense of gratitude increased today. What are the 3 things that you are most grateful for today? Comment below and share your thoughts.

By the way, if you have not started journaling, join me in my 10-Day Journaling Challenge. Please click here or the image below. I promise this to be fun with some freebies as my way to thank you for signing up.

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